Tips for Safe and Comfortable Play with a Vibrating Strap On Dildo

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You may wonder how to use a strap-on or a vibrating strap on dildo, but you are not the only one. A survey in Women’s Health says 16% of sexually active adults have tried a strap-on with a partner. If you want more pleasure, you can try things like rechargeable vibraters, a heat vibrating pad, or a heating pad with vibration. You can keep things safe and fun if you talk with your partner, set rules, and check in often. These tips for using a strap-on help you stay comfortable and have fun every time.

Choosing a Vibrating Strap On Dildo

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Fit and Harness

When you pick a strap on dildo, finding the right fit makes all the difference. You want a harness that feels secure and comfortable. Brief and boxer-style harnesses are popular because they give you more support and keep the toy steady. Some harnesses use pass-through O-rings and flaps, which help the vibrating strap-on stay in place and give you better control.

Tip: Always try the harness on before play. Adjust the straps so the strap-on does not slip or pinch. If you plan to use your strap-on dildo often, choose a harness made from strong, durable material.

Here’s a quick guide to size and shape:

Factor

What to Consider

Good Starting Point

Insertable Length

Comfort and sensation

4 to 8 inches

Girth

Fullness and comfort

4 to 6 inches

Firmness

Sensation and control

Medium firmness is a safe choice

Avoid dildos that are too long or wide. This helps prevent discomfort or injury. Always use plenty of water-based lubricant to make things smoother.

Material and Safety

You want your strap-on dildos to be safe for your body. Medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel are top choices. These materials are non-porous, easy to clean, and less likely to cause irritation. Stay away from toys made with PVC, jelly, or TPR from unknown brands. These can contain harmful chemicals and may cause rashes or infections.

Note: The sex toy industry does not have strict safety rules. Buy your vibrating strap on dildo from trusted brands that share what materials they use.

Check your strap-on dildo for cracks or damage before each use. Damaged toys can break or hurt you.

Vibration Features

A good vibrating strap on dildo offers many ways to play. Look for toys with multiple vibration modes and speeds. Some have up to 11 patterns and 12 intensity levels. Dual motors can give you and your partner more pleasure. Remote controls make it easy to change settings without stopping. Many strap-on dildos are waterproof and quiet, so you can use them almost anywhere.

Try different vibration settings to see what feels best. Customizable vibrations help you and your partner enjoy every moment.

When you find the right fit, safe materials, and fun features, your strap-on experience becomes much more comfortable and exciting.

Preparation and Communication

Discussing Boundaries

Before you dive into play, take time to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t. You and your partner can make this fun and easy. Try using safe words or signals, like a squeeze or a certain word, to let each other know how you feel without stopping the mood. Some couples like to use a green/yellow/red system or write ideas on slips of paper and draw them from a jar. This keeps things light and playful.

  • Talk about what you want to try and what you want to avoid.

  • Take turns leading the conversation so both of you feel heard.

  • Use eye contact, whispers, or gentle touches to check in during play.

  • Remember, aftercare is important. Cuddle, talk, or just relax together to build trust.

Tip: Keep an open mind and never judge your partner’s comfort level. Everyone has different limits, and that’s okay.

Consent and Comfort

Consent is the most important part of any sexual experience. You should always talk openly about what you want and what you don’t want. Start slow and let trust build over time. Pay attention to your partner’s words and body language. If someone asks to pause or stop, respect that right away.

  1. Talk about your desires and boundaries before you start.

  2. Learn about safe practices, hygiene, and how to use the strap-on together.

  3. Pick out the harness and dildo as a team so you both feel good about it.

  4. Use plenty of water-based lube and take deep breaths to help you get comfortable.

  5. Keep checking in with each other as you go.

Note: Emotional support and aftercare, like cuddling or talking, help you both feel safe and cared for.

Setting Expectations

Setting clear expectations helps you both relax and enjoy the experience. Before you begin, talk about what you hope to get out of using a vibrating strap on dildo. Make sure you both agree on boundaries and safe words. Create a cozy space where you can both relax. Take time to explore the toy together—touch it, laugh, and get used to how it feels.

  • Let your partner handle the strap-on before you use it.

  • Share your fantasies and preferences openly.

  • Accept that things might feel awkward or silly at first. That’s normal!

  • Use dirty talk or other ways to keep things fun and exciting.

  • Be patient with each other as you learn what works best.

Remember, ongoing communication helps you adjust and find what feels best for both of you.

Using a Strap-On Dildo

Harness Adjustment

Getting the harness right is the first step to making it comfortable to wear a strap on harness. If you want to know how to wear a strap-on, start by loosening all the straps. Slide the harness on and make sure the base sits flat against your pubic bone. The straps should not twist or dig into your skin. Tighten the hip straps evenly around your hips. Adjust the thigh straps so they feel snug but do not cut off your movement or circulation. You want to move, bend, and walk around to test the fit. If you feel any pinching, loosen the straps a bit. Padding around your hips can help if you plan to wear the harness for a long time.

Here’s a simple step-by-step guide for how to attach the dildo and adjust the harness:

  1. Loosen all straps before putting on the harness.

  2. Position the harness so the base sits flat against your pubic bone.

  3. Tighten the hip straps evenly for stability.

  4. Adjust thigh straps for a snug fit.

  5. Make sure straps are not twisted or digging into your skin.

  6. Move around to check for comfort and stability.

  7. Re-adjust any loose straps.

  8. Add padding if needed for extra comfort.

  9. Practice thrusting motions alone to get used to the feel.

  10. Securely attach the dildo to the harness before play.

Tip: Practice wearing the harness and moving in it before using a strap-on with your partner. This helps you feel more confident and in control.

Lubrication Tips

Lubricant is your best friend when using a strap-on dildo. Water-based lubricant works best with silicone strap-on dildos. It is safe, easy to clean, and will not damage your toy. Silicone-based lubricants last longer but can ruin silicone toys. Oil-based lubricants can cause infections and break down the material, so avoid them. Hybrid lubricants are a good choice if you want something that lasts longer but is still safe for your toy.

Always apply plenty of lubricant to the dildo and your partner before you start. If you want to know how to attach the dildo, a little lube on the base can help slide it into the harness ring. Reapply lubricant as needed during play, especially if things start to feel dry. This keeps everything smooth and comfortable.

Note: Never skip the lube, even if you think you do not need it. It makes strap-on play safer and much more enjoyable.

Starting Slow

When you are using a strap on dildo for the first time, take it slow. Start with a smaller dildo and use lots of lubricant. Insert the toy gently, and let your partner’s body get used to the feeling. You can begin with the vibrations turned off. Once your partner feels comfortable, slowly turn on the vibrations at the lowest setting. Increase the speed only if your partner wants more.

  • Begin with gentle movements and low vibration.

  • Communicate with your partner about what feels good.

  • Take breaks if needed and check in often.

  • Gradually try bigger toys or stronger vibrations as you both get more comfortable.

Sexual health experts say that starting slow helps your body adjust and prevents discomfort. This is one of the best tips for using a strap-on, especially if you are new to strap-on play.

Positions for Comfort

Trying different positions can make using a strap-on dildo more fun and comfortable. Some positions give you more control, while others help your partner relax. Here are some of the best strap on sex positions to try:

  • Masterful Missionary: Lie face-to-face for intimacy and control.

  • Classic Doggy Style: Partner on hands and knees, you behind. Great for control and deep thrusts.

  • Reverse Rider: Partner lies on their back, you mount facing their feet. This gives you leverage and lets your partner control the pace.

  • Elevate Your Go-To: Use pillows under your partner’s hips in missionary for better angles.

  • Riding High: Your partner on top controls depth and speed.

  • Stand and Strap: One partner stands, the other sits or kneels for support and comfort.

  • Lustful Lounge: Both partners lounge facing each other for mutual control.

Try different positions and see which ones feel best for you and your partner. Communication is key to finding what works.

You can also add accessories to make strap-on play even better. Bullet vibrators can be held against the clitoris or placed in a harness pouch for extra stimulation. Cock rings, both vibrating and non-vibrating, can add new sensations. Some are remote-controlled, so you can change the settings without stopping. Here’s a quick look at some options:

Accessory Type

Description & Benefits

Non-vibrating Cock Rings

Help maintain firmer erections, increase sensitivity, and delay orgasm.

Vibrating Cock Rings

Add vibrations for both partners; can be worn on a dildo.

Remote & App-Controlled

Let you control vibration settings from a distance for playful fun.

Ball Stimulation Cock Rings

Give pressure or vibration to both penis and testicles for dual stimulation.

Plug & Tug Cock Rings

Combine cock ring benefits with anal play for advanced exploration.

Experiment with these strap on play techniques to find what brings you and your partner the most pleasure. Remember, the goal is comfortable use and shared enjoyment.

Strap On Dildo Safety Tips

Checking In

Checking in with your partner keeps strap-on play safe and fun. You should talk before, during, and after using a strap on dildo. Ask your partner how they feel and listen to their answers. Use safe words or signals so you both know when to slow down or stop. There is no set number of times to check in. Just stay alert and keep the conversation open.

  • Talk about what feels good and what does not.

  • Watch for body language that shows discomfort.

  • Remind each other that you can pause or stop at any time.

Tip: Consent is not a one-time thing. Keep checking in to make sure everyone feels good and safe.

Avoiding Discomfort

You want every experience with a strap on dildo to feel good. Discomfort can happen if the harness does not fit, if you skip lubricant, or if you do not talk about what you like. Here are some safety tips to help you avoid problems:

  1. Pick a harness that fits snug but does not pinch.

  2. Use plenty of water-based lubricant to reduce friction.

  3. Start slow and let your body adjust to the toy.

  4. Choose a strap-on dildo that is the right size for you and your partner.

  5. Clean your toy before and after each use.

  6. Never share toys without cleaning them first or using a condom.

If you feel pain or soreness, stop right away. Try a smaller toy or more lubricant next time. Always listen to your body and your partner.

Troubleshooting Issues

Sometimes things do not go as planned during strap-on play. If your vibrating strap on dildo stops working, check the battery or charge it fully. Make sure the app or remote is updated and connected. If the toy feels uncomfortable, check the harness fit and add more lubricant.

  • If you notice pain, stop and reassess the size or amount of lubricant.

  • If the toy will not turn on, reset it or check the manual.

  • For tech issues, try pairing the toy with another device or contact customer support.

Note: Always use a strap on dildo with a wide base to prevent it from getting lost inside the body. Clean and store your toy in a dry place to keep it safe for next time.

Cleaning and Care

 

Cleaning Before and After

You want your vibrating strap-on dildo to stay safe and last a long time. Cleaning it before and after each use helps prevent infections and keeps things fresh. Here’s how to clean your strap-on the right way:

  1. Rinse the toy with warm water to remove any residue.

  2. Use mild soap or a sex toy cleaner. Let it soak for at least 30 seconds if possible.

  3. Clean all parts, including hard-to-reach spots, with a soft brush or cloth.

  4. If you can, take the toy apart and clean each piece.

  5. Rinse again to remove all soap or cleaner.

  6. Dry the toy completely with a clean, lint-free towel or let it air dry.

  7. Check for cracks or damage before storing.

  8. Never use harsh chemicals like bleach or rubbing alcohol.

Tip: If you use your toy for anal play or share it, be extra careful with cleaning. If you can’t disinfect it fully, avoid sharing to prevent infections.

Some toys have special cleaning needs. For example, don’t submerge vibrating or battery-powered toys in water. Use warm, soapy water for most toys, but only boil or use the dishwasher for non-mechanical ones like pure silicone, steel, or glass.

Material

Cleaning Method

Lubricant Recommendation

Storage Advice

Silicone

Warm soapy water; boil if no mechanical parts

Water-based only

Dry thoroughly; cool, dry place

Steel

Warm soapy water; boil if no mechanical parts

Any lubricant

Store anywhere

Cyberskin

Warm soapy water; dry completely; dust with cornstarch

Water-based only

Cool, dry place; avoid talcum powder

Glass

Warm soapy water; boil or cold water if no mechanics

Any lubricant

Store anywhere

Bar chart comparing cleaning methods for different strap on dildo materials

Storage and Maintenance

After cleaning, you need to store your toy the right way. This keeps it safe and ready for next time.

  • Make sure the toy is completely dry before you put it away.

  • Remove batteries from battery-powered toys to stop corrosion.

  • Charge rechargeable toys fully before storing.

  • Wrap each toy in a lint-free cloth or use a storage bag. Satin bags with antibacterial lining work great.

  • Don’t use plastic bags. They can trap moisture and cause damage.

  • Keep toys separated so they don’t touch. This stops melting or material changes.

  • Store toys away from heat and humidity.

  • Use the original box or a hard case if you have one.

Check your toy often for cracks, tears, or changes in color or smell. If you notice any problems, replace the toy right away. Clean your toy after every use to keep it in top shape.

You can have fun and stay safe with a vibrating strap on dildo if you follow some easy steps.

  • Talk with your partner about what you like and do not like.

  • Go slow and pay attention to how your body feels.

  • Clean and store your toy the right way to stay safe.

  • Talking and trying new things slowly helps you both enjoy it more.

    Experts say these toys can make you feel happier, help you relax, and help you feel closer to your partner. Keep learning and trying new things at your own speed so you do not worry.

 

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